stripped

I had my "numbers" done recently. That's where your birth month, day, and year are added, subtracted and some other mathematical procedures combine to give you a final number. This is your magical number. Your entire life can be summed up with this number. You should have no questions remaining once you know your number.

Mine is a seven. I read what a seven's traits are, and the previous mistakes made by my former self in that other life I had once, and who should avoid me, so on, and so forth. But for me the most striking part was when the author mentioned this, "You will only reach fame posthumously, if at all." What. Seriously? So basically for someone hoping for fame who received this news could pretty much just give up trying. Forver. But all seriousness aside, you now know with absolute certainty that if I'm not taking any of this seriously, then neither should you. Give me a break people.

So, I met Tabby. Tabby stripped my hair. My hair is absent of color. I like it. It goes with everything. And the bonus? I know someone from Ecuador. Do you know that in certain places in the world girls pour beer on their skin before going out to sun bathe, to make themselves a "golden" brown? I shit you not. They do. Why mess around with the coconuts when the beer is right there, chill and ready.

You know how certain people appeal to you and others do not? Those are the numbers. There are several ways of doing the math. You ask yourself a series of questions. Number one. How many times in the first five minutes of meeting so-and-so, did they smile at you? How many times in the first five minutes of meeting so-and-so did they roll their eyes at you when they didn't think you were watching them? Do you see the pattern? Then there's the other way: birth day, month, etc ... blah.

Anyway, Ecuador, beer ... yea, yea. I heard you can live cheaply and well near the equator and it stays consistently warm. All. Year. Long. Are you feeling it? Me too. I'm pretty sure we should all go to Ecuador and get tan. There are way less people than ... here. Before everyone rushes out to buy property, let me take a quick run down there and check things out. And let's keep it on the low-low. Wait for my call.

Oh! Yes, while I'm gone, could someone talk to a few experts about this whole pole-shifting fear and find out what will happen to the countries, say, on the equator. Should be safe, right? I'll call you.