Once on Maui

They told me many things: 600 curves, 54 one-lane bridges, three hours to drive 30 miles. Numbers crack me up. There can always be adjustments. I'm a good driver; I can drive 30 miles in less time than their supposed calculated stories. Three hours. Ridiculous.

The numbers were all correct. It does take hours and hours to drive the road to Hana. It's a little scary and a lot beautiful. Wild plumeria, bananas, coconuts and waterfalls with every turn. Depending on whether you are driver or passenger you can also see the drop-straight-down cliff that will take you to your maker if you don't keep your eyes straight ahead.

I took my three teenagers to Maui for Valentine's day. It seemed unreasonable to not take that road - it's what you do if you're on the island. I was the only licensed driver and knowing what I know now, I would never be a passenger on that road. My fate stays in my hands.

Teenagers love music, me too, but not that day. Everyone was required to stay completely silent. I have neurological short-wire issues and can only listen to one thing at a time, otherwise I must put on a stocking cap and try to block the second and third things. So we enjoyed the beauty of silence. The colors of peace are emerald, fuchsia and juicy mango orange. The smell of silence is earthy, like dirt and rainfall mixing together and then sliding over ancient rocks spiced with mildew and moss.

I didn't know I could drive two miles per hour, but I can! My kids were terrified and delighted in the same exact moment. This is the road. Forget the Autobahn. It's much harder to drive slow than fast - it takes guts my friend. When you arrive, you will find that if you stand in one spot and slowly turn, every single view, every degree is one of sea sprayed magic. You will feel alive.

I made a promise to some short Hawaiian guy in pink and blue tattered shorts (he said he was God and I would crash and burn to ash on the return trip if I did not follow his instructions) that I mustn't tell anyone what was really in Hana and my superpower is my ability to keep my word, so ... yea, just go to Hana.