Nice after 10 a.m.

November 30, 2009

The whole thing with disconnecting the Internet from your house - is tough! I am accomplishing what I wanted: I am focused and we are moving forward, working and learning. Twice this week the whole family was sitting together in the living room just talking. No shit. So, there is definitely that positive side to the situation. However, today I feel like whining about the shitty side.

My mom called at 9:10 a.m. “Are you sleeping?”

“No, I’m in the garage doing laundry,” I replied. Doing laundry in the garage is weird to me. It’s a warm weather thing, I know – it doesn’t change the weirdness for me.

We proceeded to talk; me being passionate that I am, rose above an acceptable range of emotion and was a little hurt that my niece didn’t call me to ask for a personal favor. Hurt, because I would do anything for my nieces and nephews. I was there while they grew; I know these kids; I love these kids. It felt like they didn’t know it, and I was a little disappointed. Have I let them down? I try to remember every birthday and I give them random “Good night, I love you” texts. Have I been careless with them? If so, I am sorry. Sorry.

Is it me? Or have others been careless with me? I think we’ve all participated.

I couldn’t give mom the response she wanted, and I don’t like to let my mom down, but at this stage I have to stand my ground. It’s not about love. I love her.

The conversation didn’t go well, but it didn’t get out of control either. I had commented early in the conversation that I wait until after 10 a.m. to call people because they tend to me nicer. Near the end of the call, mom gracefully asked what time it was in California. I said, “I’ve got 45 minutes to go.”

She said, “I’ll call you back.” We said goodbye. I think this story ended perfectly well, thank you very much.